Alvida Kolkata

Its so true that MEMORIES behave in a crazy way as they leave u alone in a crowd n stand by u like a crowd whn u r alone....!!!! I always believed in moving on n accepting whatevr comes to me as GOD's gift but this time when i finally bid GOODBYE to kolkata i didnt knew wat was happening to me....i mean it seemed to me as if i was yearning for smthng,i wanted to say smthng,i wanted to hear smthng bt i was unable to undrstand what exactly was that "SMTHNG" until the train started,tears rolled down my cheeks n made me realize that it was the parting which was hurting me sooooooooooooo hardly.Though it wasn't the first time that i was parting from my friends,my relatives yet it was vry hurting coz it was the parting from my loved ones,a parting from my childhood,a parting from the sweet n sour memories of the moments spent in my house..........it actually was a parting from MYSELF:( :(.It was for the first time that i wished it was jst a BAD DREAM which will go away as i wake up knwing the fact of it being a reality.It was for the first time i wished i had an option of rejecting-rejecting what was being given to me,rejecting the flow of time n make it stop,rejecting everythng which was snatching my life from me.At that moment i wished i could be like a demanding small child who demands for the MOON being unaware of the fact that its impossible bt since m nt a kid n knw the fact that no matter whatevr happens "The show must go on".......n so here i m jst writing down wat i scribbled in my diary on 18th feb'09 (the day i bid goodbye to kolkata)

"अलविदा कोलकाता" 
न जाने कितने सवाल है मन में
 जिनके न कोई जवाब है मन में।
 चारो तरफ़ है खुशिया लेकिन
 मुस्कुराने का एक अरमान है मन में।
 मैंने पाया है सब कुछ वहां(jaipur) पे
 फ़िर भी एक तलाश है मन में।
 वो जिसे मैं छोड़ आई हूँ
 उसे पाने का आज भी अरमान है मन में। होठों पे है हँसी पर 
आंसुओं का एक सेलाब है मन में। 
कहीं अपने भी लगे अजनबी मुझे और
 कहीं गैरों के लिए भी प्यार है मन में।
 क्या ये आज सच में कड़वा है या 
बीते हुए कल की ज्यादा मिठास है मन में।
 वो घर,वो शहर,वो लोग अब नहीं मेरे पर उनके लिए एक मीठा सा एहसास है मन में। वो दोस्त हैं मीलों दूर मगर
 उनसे जुड़े दिल के अटूट तार है मन में।
 वो पल जो उनके साथ थे बीते 
उन्हें फ़िर से जीने की एक आस है मन में।
 न जाने कितने सवाल है मन में जिनके
 न अब तक जवाब है मन में........।।

~@प्रेरणा@~